


Too Afraid To Love You

by fabuloushazza



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 12:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3650163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabuloushazza/pseuds/fabuloushazza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry liked Louis, and maybe he still does. Louis likes Harry too, he was just too afraid to admit it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Afraid To Love You

September 1999   
Ages 5 and 6

 

"Harry!"

The exhausted five-year-old boy rubbed his eyes open and saw his mother standing in front of him.

"Are you ready for your first day of school?" she asked enthusiastically.

"Yep!" Harry exclaimed as he jumped out of bed and ran to the kitchen to eat a nutritious breakfast.

Harry sat down in his chair and held his arms out as his mother handed him his bowl of oatmeal along with a banana.

"So, are you excited for your first day of school?" Gemma, his ten-year-old sister, asked him.

Harry wanted to speak, but he reminded himself that it wasn't polite to talk with his mouth full of food - at least that's what his mother told him - so he just nodded his head yes.

"So you're not even nervous?" Gemma asked him.

"Nope," he answered.

"Sure, you say that now, but I bet you'll be crying and holding on to Mum as soon as you walk inside the building-"

"Gemma!" their mother scolded, "Harry is in a good mood right now, so don't you dare try to upset him. Got it?"

"Got it," Gemma mumbled.

Harry pushed his now empty bowl of oatmeal toward the center of the table as he went back to his room to get dressed.

He grabbed a white t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers from his closet. Within ten minutes, he got dressed, brushed his teeth, packed his backpack, and rushed to the front door, waiting for his mother to drop him off at school.

Harry had a good feeling about his first day.

 

≫≫≫≫≫

Unlike Gemma's prediction, Harry didn't cry or hold onto his mum when they walked inside the school building. Instead, Harry hugged his mum and ran into the classroom.

He had no clue as to where he should sit, so he just sat down on the small empty space on the rug.

Harry looked around the classroom to get used to his new surroundings. A boy about the same height was smiling, but also staring at him.

The boy got up and walked away to get a drink of water and Harry followed him from behind. The boy turned around, but Harry was unaware of what was going on and accidentally bumped into him.

"Oops," Harry said.

"Hi!" the boy exclaimed.

That's how everything started.

≫≫≫≫≫

When all the kids in the class introduced themselves, Harry learned that the boy's name was Louis.

During recess, Harry and Louis ran outside and decided to get to know each other more.

"How old are you?" Louis asked.

Harry held up five of his fingers.

"I'm six, but I'll be seven in December," Louis said with a smile.

"Why aren't you in year two?" Harry asked.

"I got held back," Louis answered. He sighed and looked down at the ground, kicking the wood chips with his foot.

Harry was confused. He was only five years old and didn't understand what it meant to be held back.

"I didn't do very well in year one, so I didn't move on to year two," Louis explained, "That's what it means to be held back. I guess I'm just not smart enough for it."

"Yes you are, Louis," Harry told him, "You just have to believe in yourself."

"You know what, Harry?" Louis asked, "For a five-year old, you're very smart. Thanks for believing in me."

Harry smiled, showing his tiny dimples.

Harry and Louis just sat outside and played until they had to pack up their belongings and go home.

"Bye, Harry!" Louis shouted.

"Bye!" Harry shouted as he waved at Louis and walked out of the school building.

Their relationship only got stronger.

≫≫≫≫≫

September 2012

Ages 18 and 19

Harry was sitting on his bed, staring at the ceiling and doing nothing else. His room was almost completely empty after countless hours of packing for uni. All of his posters were either torn up and thrown away or stuffed in a cardboard box.

Harry got up from his bed and walked around his now spotless room. He saw all the framed photos from his childhood, but one in particular caught his eye. It was a picture of him and Louis, taken around the time they first met.

He reminisced on all the memories he made with Louis - good and bad. The two boys were inseparable from the day they met. They became best friends instantly. They were the type of best friends who were attached at the hip - figuratively, of course. They would stay up late talking on the phone, not getting any sleep and not regretting it for a moment.

When they were teenagers, Harry started having feelings toward Louis that he thought were unusual at first. It took him a while, but he came to a conclusion - he liked Louis. He never did anything about it. Although Louis never said so, it was obvious that he didn't like Harry back. Harry knew that he just had to face reality and accept it. It took years for him to do that.

After he first accepted it, it was always awkward whenever Harry was around Louis somehow. It was awkward when they were hanging out together. It was awkward when they were on Skype with each other. It was awkward if they saw each other in public. It was awkward even if they were in the same room together. It was just plain awkward.

Harry heard somebody call his name and he immediately snapped out of his thoughts about Louis. Of course, Louis was still on Harry's mind a lot of the time - they were best friends.

"Harry!" his mum exclaimed, knocking on his bedroom door, "May I come in?"

"Yeah," Harry said.

His mum looked around Harry's room and saw it was completely empty. It seemed like just yesterday he was a four-year-old boy moving into a new home.

Harry got up from his bed and saw his mum tearing up.

"Mum, you know you don't have to cry," he told her.

"I know," she said, "I just can't believe it. You're all grown up now."

Harry nodded his head and grabbed a box full of some of his belongings, and his mother grabbed another one, following him from behind.

Harry's eyes widened as he stepped out on to the front porch. He saw an all-too-familiar person - Louis.

"Hey there, college boy," Louis said with a smirk.

Harry chuckled, walked to the trunk of his car and saw Louis opening the trunk for him.

"Thank you," Harry said.

"You're welcome, mate," Louis replied with a smile.

Mates. That's all they were. Best friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

Harry ignored the thought and got into the car. Louis got in the front seat, closed the door, and started driving.

≫≫≫≫≫

Harry just stared outside the window as he felt the warm breeze of the air on his face, blowing his perfectly styled hair.

All he did throughout the entire car ride was stare outside in complete and utter silence. Louis was concerned and was thinking about saying something, but he didn't. He knew that some people genuinely want to be left alone, and he understood. So he just didn't say anything to Harry from the moment he got into the car. When the two of them finally arrived at the campus where they would be attending uni, Louis finally decided to break the silence.

"Hey," he said.

Harry didn't say a word.

"Haz," Louis said.

Louis would always call him that and it would always make Harry blush or smile.

"We're here," Louis told him, "Come on, get out of the car."

Harry turned his head around and saw Louis looking at him with a worried expression on his face. Harry knew Louis was worried because of that look in his eyes. If Louis was upset in any way, so was Harry.

Louis opened Harry's door and held his arm out, gesturing Harry to get out of the car.

"Thanks," Harry said.

It was the first time Harry had spoken in hours. That's when Louis knew something was up.

≫≫≫≫≫

"This is my dorm," Harry said, turning the key and opening the door.

Louis just stood there and didn't come in.

"Are you going to come in or not?" Harry asked.

"Haz, this isn't my dorm," Louis explained.

Louis called Harry by his nickname again, hoping to at least get him to smile.

"I guess we're not sharing a room together," Louis told him.

"I guess not," Harry mumbled, looking at the ground.

"Hey, are you okay?" Louis asked.

"What?" Harry asked, not paying any attention to what Louis was saying, "Oh. Uh, yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Louis asked.

"Lou, I'm fine. Don't worry about it," Harry answered with an angry tone in his voice.

Louis, once again, wanted to say something but didn't. Sometimes silence is all that people need - and that's okay. He took a moment to realize that maybe Harry needed some space. They weren't little kids anymore; they didn't have to be together every second of the day. Maybe they needed a break.

≫≫≫≫≫

Louis walked around campus, trying to find his dorm room. It took twenty minutes of searching for him to finally figure out that he was lost in the middle of campus with no idea where he was going.

He saw a boy with black hair standing in front of him talking to somebody.

"Excuse me?" Louis asked, tapping the boy on the shoulder.

"Hey," the boy said, "Are you alright?"

"Me?" Louis asked, "Oh yeah, I'm fine. I just got a little lost around here, trying to find out where everything is."

"Do you need any help?" the boy asked.

"Yes. Thank you so much," Louis answered, "I'm Louis, by the way."

"No problem, mate. My name's Zayn Malik, in case you were wondering." the boy told him.

Louis and Zayn walked around campus and talked as they went to find Louis' dorm.

"Can I see the school map that they gave you?" Zayn asked.

"Yeah, hold on," Louis answered before pulling it out of his pocket, "Here you go."

"Thanks," Zayn told him before looking at the map, trying to figure out what route to take, "Okay. Right now we're standing by the lunch hall. Don't go there for lunch, trust me. To get to your dorm, we'll have to get to the other side of campus."

"Alright. Let's go," Louis said.

≫≫≫≫≫

"Well, here's your dorm," Zayn said.

"Okay," Louis replied, unlocking the door, "Thank you again for all the help."

"It's no problem, really," Zayn told him, "Oh, by the way, there's something else I wanted to tell you."

"What's that?" Louis asked.

"So, my mate Liam is going to have a party at this place across from campus. I was wondering if you wanted to go there," Zayn explained.

"I don't know. Parties aren't really my type of thing," Louis said.

"Come on, Louis. You're at a university now. You have freedom. You might as well have some fun along the way," Zayn told him.

Louis sighed.

"Okay. I guess I'll go," he said.

"Great! I'll come by in a few hours to pick you up and take you there. I'll see you later!" Zayn exclaimed.

"This is going to be one heck of a year," Louis thought to himself.

≫≫≫≫≫

A few hours later, Louis was staring at his phone and looked at the clock.

"Crap," he mumbled, "Zayn's going to be here in twenty minutes."

He grabbed a black t-shirt, a pair of jeans and a pair of black slip-on shoes from one of the boxes he packed.

By the time he started fixing his hair, he heard somebody knocking on the door of his dorm.

"It's Zayn," the person said, "Louis, are you in there?"

"Yeah, I'm in here. You can come in. I'm just getting ready," Louis told Zayn.

"Okay," Zayn said as he walked in.

"So, who's going to be at this party?" Louis asked.

"Me, Liam, Perrie, Niall, Sophia, Luke, Ashton, Michael and Calum," Zayn answered.

"Who are all those people?" Louis asked.

"Perrie is my girlfriend. Sophia is Liam's girlfriend. Luke, Ash, Michael, Niall and Calum are all just friends of ours," Zayn explained.

"Oh. Okay then. Let's go, I don't want to be late," Louis said.

Zayn smiled, opened the door, and led Louis outside his dorm to leave for the party.

≫≫≫≫≫

Harry was sitting on his bed while Niall, his roommate, was grabbing a pair of shoes from the closet.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked as Niall was about to open the door.

"Oh, just a party not too far off campus," Niall answered, "Do you want to come with me?"

"No, I'm okay with staying here by myself. Thanks for the offer, though," Harry said, "I hope you have a good time."

"Thanks, Harry. I'll see you later," Niall replied as he closed the door and walked outside to meet up with Zayn.

≫≫≫≫≫

"I thought we were going to the party, Louis said, "Are you sure we're going the right way?"

"I'm sure we're going the right way. We're going to meet up with Niall before we head off campus for the party," Zayn explained.

"Okay," Louis mumbled, nodding his head.

Zayn saw a person with blonde hair in a SnapBack, immediately knowing that it was Niall.

"Nialler!" Zayn shouted.

"Zayn!" Niall shouted back as they walked towards each other.

Louis looked down at the ground.

"Niall, this is Louis. Louis, this is Niall, one of my best mates," Zayn said.

"Nice to meet you," Louis said shyly.

"You too, Louis," Niall replied, "We should probably get going. We don't want to be late now, do we?"

Zayn shook his head and said, "Let's go."

≫≫≫≫≫

The party seemed like a typical college party. Louis would have never thought that he would be at a college party in a million years. Yet, here he was, standing in a house with a crowded group of college students who were doing whatever they wanted without a care in the world. Normally, Louis was a carefree person, but he was a little bit worried about what would happen.

Zayn saw the nervous look on Louis' face and asked, "Hey, are you okay, mate?"

"Oh. Yeah, I'm fine," Louis lied with a fake smile on his face.

"If you say so," Niall said, "Let's find Liam and get this party started!"

≫≫≫≫≫

Hours and hours passed by, and Louis was still at Liam's party, and Harry was still sitting alone in his dorm room.

Harry was still lying on his bed, on his phone, like he had been doing for the past few hours.

He opened the Instagram app and searched Louis' profile. He noticed that Louis had been tagged in photos taken at some party by people who didn't seem very familiar to him.

@niallhoran: Crazy night, the party was amazing! @louist91 @niazkilam @fakeliampayne @perrieeele

Louis was at a party - a college party. He could've gotten hurt or been peer pressured to do something he didn't want to do.

Of course Harry was concerned - he had known Louis for over a decade. He eventually decided to give Louis some space and wait until the next day.

≫≫≫≫≫

It was one 'o' clock in the morning and Louis, Liam, Niall, and Zayn were still awake and at Liam's house after the party while Harry was still lying in bed in his dorm, listening to music on his phone.

The song he was listening to was interrupted by a text message.

From: Louis  
Hey, Harry. It's Niall on Louis' phone. The party got pretty crazy very fast, so we are just heading back to our dorms now. Hopefully Louis will be at his dorm by the time you wake up.

Harry knew something was up. Louis wasn't okay. Neither of them would be getting any sleep. Niall was implying that he had no idea when Louis would be at his dorm. He said the word "hopefully," which basically meant "I don't know."

Harry could only hope for the best.

≫≫≫≫≫

Harry thought that he would only get a few hours of sleep, but he actually fell asleep at two 'o' clock in the morning and slept for seven hours.

Harry reached for his phone, which was sitting on his dresser, and turned it on. He received several texts, all from Louis. Well, the texts were sent from Louis' phone, but not by Louis himself.

It's Liam, the one who hosted the party that Louis and Niall went to. The two of them were in an accident. Text me where your dorm room is and I'll pick you up and take you to visit Louis and Niall at the hospital.

Harry?

Are you awake?

Text me when you wake up, and then we can go visit Louis and Niall.

 

Harry sighed, trying to stop tears from falling down his face. Louis was in an accident. Louis was in the hospital. Harry only blamed himself. He shouldn't have let Louis be on his own. Harry could've been there for Louis, but no, he chose to sit alone in his room and give him some privacy. He thought he knew Louis. He was wrong. All he worried about was Louis. 

 

≫≫≫≫≫

Liam showed up at Harry's dorm a few hours later.

"Hey. You must be Harry," Liam said as he walked in the door.

Harry sat on his bed in silence.

"I'm Liam," Liam said, hoping Harry would respond.

"I know," Harry replied with a quiet voice, almost like a whisper.

"We should probably get going if you want to see Niall," Liam explained.

"A-and Louis," Harry stuttered, interrupting what Liam was saying.

"Right. Let's go."

≫≫≫≫≫

Harry walked inside the building, feeling terrified. He knew that something was going on with Louis.

"Are you okay?" Liam asked Harry concerningly.

"I'm fine," Harry lied.

He wasn't fine. Louis wasn't okay. Harry thought that maybe he still liked Louis, but he wasn't exactly sure of it yet. That had to wait, though. All he had to worry about and focus on was Louis and what happened to him and why he wasn't okay. That's what really mattered.

 

Harry walked inside Louis' room and saw his body laying down on a hospital bed. This wasn't how it should have been. Louis should have been in his dorm, sleeping in, yet here he is in a small hospital room.

"Louis," Harry whispered.

Louis was still and didn't respond to Harry. The room was completely silent.

"Louis, please wake up. Please," Harry begged, "I-I love you."

 

He cried and cried and cried, wondering if Louis was even going to awaken.

Harry held on to Louis' right hand and lay his head down on Louis' chest, slowly drifting off to sleep. All of a sudden, Harry felt Louis squeezing his hand. Harry looked up and saw Louis' eyelids flutter and slowly open.

Harry stopped crying and a small smile formed on his face, revealing his dimples, which Louis loved about him.

Louis immediately noticed that Harry was smiling, and he smiled too.

≫≫≫≫≫

A couple of days later, Louis and Niall were released from the hospital and went back to uni.

Harry missed two days of school and called in sick just so he could visit Louis and stay with him for hours until he was forced to leave.

Louis didn't mind. Harry was with him and that was all that mattered to both of them.

Louis and Harry stood in Harry's dorm room in an awkward silence.

"I have something I wanted to talk to you about," Louis said.

"I have something I want to talk to you about as well. You go first," Harry replied.

"Alright. No offense, but you've been acting really awkward since we got in the car and drove to this building last week," Louis explained, "Has something been going on? Is something wrong?"

Harry stared at the ground and didn't say a word.

"Okay. Now I know something is wrong," Louis said, "I care about you, Haz."

Harry sighed.

"I-I like you. And I didn't think you felt the same way, so I just felt awkward whenever I was around you. I was quiet because I was afraid I would mess up or say the wrong thing," he explained.

"There's no need for you to feel awkward about something this," Louis told Harry, "You see, I knew all along that you felt this way. It was kind of obvious."

Harry started blushing.

"I am not going to judge you, no matter what," Louis said, "Now you don't need to be upset about this anymore. You don't need to be quiet. You can be yourself around me."

Harry smiled.

"What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?" Louis asked.

"I actually have a question to ask you first," Harry explained.

"In that case, ask away," Louis said.

"Do you feel the same way about me as I do about you?" Harry asked nervously.

"I didn't at first," Louis explained, "but I do now. I have felt that way for quite a while, actually."

Harry smiled even more; he hasn't been this happy in a long, long time.

"What else was it that you wanted to tell me?" Louis asked.

"That can wait," Harry answered.

"Okay," Louis said.

≫≫≫≫≫

February 1st, 2013

Ages 19 and 20

Louis walked towards Harry's dorm room and knocked on the door.

Harry got up from his bed, opened the door and saw Louis standing right in front of him.

"Happy birthday, Harry," Louis said with a smile.

"Thank you, Louis," Harry replied.

"Let's go. I have a surprise for you," Louis said, handing Harry a blindfold, "Here, wear this."

Harry grabbed the blindfold and tied it around his head, holding on to Louis to avoid losing his balance.

"Just hold my hand and don't let go. You'll be fine," Louis whispered, leading Harry outside of the university building and towards his car.

"Where are we going anyways?" Harry asked when he stepped into the passenger seat of Louis' car.

"You'll see," Louis answered with a smirk.

≫≫≫≫≫

Louis parked his car after about a half hour of his crazy driving.

"You can take off the blindfold now, Haz," Louis said.

Harry nodded, took off the blindfold and opened his eyes.

He saw a place that he hadn't seen in a long time. A meadow to be exact. He used to go there all the time with Louis when they were younger.

"Come on, let's go sit down," Louis said.

Harry followed Louis and they sat down by themselves looking at the sun.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" Louis asked, breaking the silence.

"It's perfect. Thank you, Lou," Harry answered.

They both smiled.

"I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but is this all we're going to do today?" Harry asked.

"Calm down, birthday boy," Louis answered, "Your celebration has only just begun. I have even bigger plans for later today."

"I'm sure that whatever you have planned is going to be amazing," Harry said.

They both got back into Louis' car and drove back to the university.

"What are we doing back here?" Harry asked.

"Follow me. I'll show you," Louis answered.

Harry did as he was told and followed Louis into the building all the way to Harry's dorm room.

Louis slowly opened the door and Harry's jaw dropped.

"Surprise!"

Liam, Zayn and Niall stood in Harry's dorm room, which was now decorated with streamers and banners.

"What's all this?" Harry asked.

"Only the best for the birthday boy," Louis said with a smile, putting his hand on Harry's shoulder.

"So you did all of this for me?" Harry asked.

"Of course," Louis answered.

"Thank you so much," Harry said, "This means so much to me."

"Well, you mean so much to me," Louis replied.

"You mean even more to me," Harry told Louis, "I love you."

"I love you more," Louis said.

"That's not possible," Harry replied, "because I love you the most."

Their love lasted forever.


End file.
